ARE YOU READY FOR A JOKE?

Thanks Diane D. for this!

You always send me these really good jokes

when I really need a good laugh!

 

As an English teacher you have often heard me say

how important it is to pronounce clearly and

to try to remember that the stressed sounds are different

from the French ones which are spoken by syllables!

Here is a good example of mis-pronunciation

 or  is it mis-hearing!

So if someone laughs the next time you speak English

maybe you will have unwillingly made a joke!! !!

ENJOY!

 

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and

pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

 

HI! there

We are back to winter today!!? What a cold day after

all that warn sushine we have had for the past two weeks.

Well,  as we say in English or as the proverb goes,

" All good things must come to an end"!

 

But right now on this blog, the good things

are still happening in the form of great texts and stories

that you wrote during the winter session.

 

So here is another one!

It is quite amusing if you look at the context.

I was written by Marielle Jobin and

it is a great little story (anecdote) that she tells

about what happened to her

 on a 'business' trip tp Morocco a few years ago...

 

MY FAVOURITE ACTIVITY and also a PASSION.

by Marielle Jobin

One day, if I ever win the lottery,

I would like to go on a long, long trip!

I like travelling and the preparation is just as good. I consult the Internet, travel books and magazines; I read all that I can get my hands on. Over the years, I have visited many European countries; China, Vietnam and Thailand in Asia; Peru, Costa Rica and Cuba in the Americas; and Morocco in Africa. I also like adventure, surprises and unusual situations.

Let me tell you a story that happened while in Morocco. Some years ago, I was invited by the O.B.I. to give a three-day workshop in Casablanca. After the classes were over, a gym teacher, Mr. Belkoubbi invited me to visit Marrakesh and its ‘souk’. He would be my guide for the tour.

That day we had been walking for a while in the narrow streets of the market when I noticed a man in his fifties, dressed in an old worn-out jhellabah. He was looking at me with a bizarre smile on his face. We then visited the leather shops; there he was again standing on a porch step. We went on to a carpet store and he was parked near the door, still smiling… I had never been observed in that way before by a man… It was weird!

 Why was this happening? Was it my gray hair? Or the way I was dressed? My God! What was I thinking to have dressed in jeans and a T-shirt when almost all the women were wearing jhellabahs and scarves? I took Mr. Belkoubbi aside and said:

-” Did you see that man wearing a brown jhellabah? He has been following us for a while.”

My guide decided to go after the man to ask him what it was exactly that he wanted. I couldn’t hear what they were saying but they were speaking very loudly in Arabic and were gesturing a lot. I then realized and couldn’t believe that I was standing there in the middle of the place, surrounded by curious observers. I was sweating like I had never done before. At that moment, I just wanted to disappear! 

After a few minutes, my guide came back and he was laughing and laughing.

- “This man thought that you were my wife. He said that he wanted to exchange you for two camels.”

I grinned and just for fun added:

-” I’m insulted! Really! Two camels … that’s not enough.”

-“Don’t worry, Marielle, in Morocco that is a good price and

  It’s better than being traded for two goats!”

Well, thinking back, it was rather comical!

 

If you haven’t seen Marrakesh and its souk you are missing something. They sell everything in the market and the shops: leather, jewellery, silk, babouches, silver, spices, snakes and … even maybe their wives! To add, here’s some good advice: have a Moroccan guide with you; it will be safer and not any less AMAZING!!!

 

The PURRRRRRFECT STUDENT

This story first published on December 5, 2010
was written by Carole Lemonde.

 She was the first student I published.
We had had a little writing contest and she was the winner.
The prize … you guessed it: her text to be published here!!
So here it is again by POPULAR REQUEST !!!
I haven’t brought back a post from the past very often
but this one fits right in the context of publishing your work!
And it is such a cute and heartwarming story.
I am very glad to share Carole’s text!

The PURRRRRRFECT STUDENT

A SPECIAL STUDENT

SOCRATE

Many years ago, I remember it was on a Sunday morning, I was just relaxing in my bed, not really ready to get up. I realized that my daughter Stéphanie who was three years old then, had already come down from her bedroom into the living room. She was speaking to somebody! Who could it be, I wondered. For my husband was beside me and she was an only child. So I was a little surprised to hear her speak and questioned the identity of the other person that I couldn’t hear.

So I jumped out of bed and went to find the answer. There she was sitting on the floor, holding some cards with a picture on one side and the corresponding word on the other side. Her cat, Socrate*, who was one and a half years younger than her, was sitting quietly in front of her. She was trying to teach him some vocabulary by repeating two or three times every word. It was so cute to see them that I observed a little while before joining in.

 Finally, I don’t know exactly how many words Socrate learnt that day but I still remember the special relationship they had for many, many years. Socrate passed away when he reached the ripe old age of 18.

* Socrate is Socrates /tiz/ in English!

Thank you, Carole

for this touching litttle story

about a faithful and 'educated' companion.

 

GETTING BACK to NORMAL ...

                                  HI! to all of you!

                    How are YOU doing!

NOTE: If you are a NEW visitor /student, don't forget to CLICK on links and don't forget to  READ OUT LOUD. If you have problems pronouncing a word  CICK on this PARROT

 or go to the right column and click on image of Parrot.

 

After two weeks of drama, and I mean DRAMA!!!

my life is getting back to a more normal  NORMAL!

I am very tired and I need to build my energy

back up and running smoothly!

 

I am a very passionate person as you very well know

but for the past two weeks...

 'pressure' has replaced passion,

frustration has replaced patience :(

This is what I am doing right now and I am getting

some very needed help and support from some of you!
 

So I am still an English teacher, but otherwise,

an independent teacher and a new 'entrepreneur',
that's sounds French, doesn't it,  and it is !
We also borrowed this word and use it in English.
Try the 'parrot' again for the English pronunciation.
 Use it (howjsay.com) as often as you want and need to.
But I digress here ... it's the teacher in me!!

 

Being independant has a great advantage:
no more 'bosses', except for my students! 

 

I also needed HELP getting used to

my new WINDOWS 8 interface (no.4 definition)

WOW!! What a patience tester!!

Here I want to thank Diane Plasse.

Remember her? She's the one that accepted

that we all correct her email and 'light her lantern'!!

Diane has spent some time with me and helping

as best she can, through some important difficulties

using my new WORD 2013 program for documents. 
 Update: I also got this contact  from Hélène Parent.
Réseau d'information des Aînés du Québec ,
which helps you with online tutorials for WINDOWS 8
for a small annual fee:  www.riaq.ca,
it mat help some of you soon. THANKS Hélène!

SOOOO ... I'm slowly moving forward,

emotionally, personally and professionally.

NOW here is HOW you CAN help me today!

PLEASE let me know if you are coming back

for the fall ESL session starting in October.

UP TO NOW I have received

some confirmations from your classmates...

a YESSS! from you is very WELCOMED. 

NOTE: For the moment, I don't want to open the groups 
to the general public, only and if it is necessary.

Because I don't want to disturb the class dynamics.
It is EXCELLENT as is! WE are all used to one another

and YOU are used to my way of teaching.

So let me know ASAP what you want to do!

 THANKS for your cooperation and

don't forget that you are most WELCOME BACK!!!

Let's continue working together to reach your goals! 

Have a great weekend!

SUZANNE 

P.S. If you have some more personal questions to ask me, send me an email or your phone number and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

NOTE: Don't worry about your personal work (texts), next week I will get back to publishing and posting them.
NOTE: If you have already signed up for the fall classes, you need not confirm, it has been noted. THANKS!

AFTER MANY LOYAL YEARS...

Good Friday morning to you all!

                                       Today I am  in mourning ...

After many years of loyal service my PC has done its last job ... and has decided to 'retire' without asking me or telling me in advance :( Actually there were a few signs...) Sounds like another recent event in my life as a teacher ...but that is another totally different experience and story that I will not get into today.

Yes ... or should I say:" Oh! NOOOO!", my dear computer has finally expired! I am sooo sad.  My life as a teacher has been upset by this tragedy :(  for I have not been able to communicate with you for a whole week! And as Charlie Brown would say: "Good grief!" (oxymoron). Some of you have already reacted and are in a state of agitation and distress. What is going on? What has happened to my teacher? Something is not right!!

 

   Well here I am!

And this morning I am using my new laptop or notebook as it is called today! It is quite a stressful situation ... to say the least! Of course all the options that I have now at my disposal are all updated but ... GEEEZ! I didn't ask for it! I was quite well off with my 'old' Windows XP! I could actually work with my eyes closed that I was so familiar with every button I used... AHHHH! Now I have this super, dooper Windows 8 and I am pushing a lot of buttons and getting nowhere for the moment!

As we say in American English:" If it ain't broke, why fix it!"

 

So there it is! This is the latest news and

I will be in front of my PC for  a while

trying to find my way home again!!

 (expresson: before I can feel at ease
working with the new one).

Have a great weekend and please come back next week

 to read some new posts from my students.

LOVE TO YOU ALL

SUZANNE

MY LOVE OF GARDENING!

In this post Luce takes her love of flowers 

and gardening to another level. 

This is the real thing, it is PASSION in its purist form. 

This is a perfect activity for Luce because I know 

that she adores being outside and I also know 

of her priority for the environment! Another plus ...

 she can also share this love of flowers with her LOVE!!

The JOY of GARDENING!

       by Luce Goulet

 Plants, flowers and gardening are a passion of mine.

 A few years ago, I took a course in bio-gardening for growing vegetables and flowers. I have also  designed flower beds, footpaths, patios, lawns, ponds and vegetable gardens.  This exercise requires precision and takes time, before I do the outside work.

   I take stock of and list all the living plants.  Also I have to determine where the sun will be from dawn to dusk.  I then decide my favourite colors and harmonize them with their complimentary in colors.  I select trees and  shrubs with special care and check their maturity.  I am always careful about placing and  taking care that the tall plants are  behind the smaller ones.  All this is done on paper and drawing before planting since we do not want to start over. 

   I do the  planning with reference to a gardening botanical guide.  My priority, low maintenance.  I have a lot of perennial flowers and rustic plants with long blooming flowers.  I change the colors and the style of the annuals every year.  I use huge planting pots, grass border, the space under the trees, around the pond also in the vegetable garden because some specific plants to keep away some undesirable  bugs and prowlers.

   My partner who also share my love of gardening, created the pond first with many stones and laid a geo-textile. Water adds a unique sound and brings tranquility to the garden.  It has been my best idea! The sound from the fountain provides serenity and we have spent long periods of time observing the birds drinking and bathing.

   We have the privilege of having a drip hose in the vegetable garden and in the flower beds.  We have installed probes to determine the  humidity and water levels too. The grass doesn’t need as much attention because my garden is my priority. My partner also built a system to collect rain water in four big forty-gallon drums, which in turn fills up the pond.  The huge flower pots have a system of water reservoirs to keep the soil moist and In the flower beds, the compost acts as mulch.

   I have approximately sixty different  kinds of plants but I don’t know the exact quantity because I plant them in bunches to create eye-catching blooms.  In the vegetable garden we plant seventy kinds of vegetables. 

  My partner and I use a lot of compost on the ground and mix it up because we DO believe in bio.  In the kitchen I keep all the table-scraps in two jars: one for worm composting and the other for vegetables. The worm composting is the most suitable, with this system the urine is separated from the feces. We use the worm composting to make a planting mix and the urine to fertilize.

  I’ve just recently started sowing annuals. From these seedlings I will get alyssum, begonias, coleus, verbena and some perennials. My partner has started some heritage seeds like: shallots, radishes, salads, turnips, kale, fennel, basil, Italian parsley, Espelette peppers, ground-cherries and different kinds of tomatoes and beets.

  I spend wonderful times and  magic moments observing all of them grow!  It’s inspiring to see nature grow from such small seeds to beautiful and delicious plants. 

 

It’s my favourite time of the year and 

this way  I always begin my summer earlier.

MY PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENTS

As a teacher and a person that can appreciate 

the experience of life because of our 'advanced' years.

I love listening then reading once again here

about my students' life experiences.

They are all retirees and considered as seniors.

What makes it more interesting is that

their experiences are those of mature, established

 and experienced persons.

Their vues on life have been influenced 

by their personal experiences through the years

 and have attached to them,  a 'touch' of wisdom.

Here is Irène's story!

What I am the most proud of  in my life.

By Irène Mongeon

                                 

                                       

   When I decided to choose the topic, two subjects come to mind: my career and my university studies because during the last thirty-five years I might have given too much but there are no regrets!

 I studied four years at university and obtained a licence and a bachelor’s degree in nursing. I began my career as a paediatric nurse for a few years. Then I had the opportunity to teach during my employment. I worked in different departments at Notre-Dame Hospital. Sometimes, it was a difficult job because there were a lot of unexpected things but the challenge was rewarding. The hospital management often gave me huge tasks and projects; I preferred organizational development.

  One day the nursing director asked me as a head-nurse to restructure a department. I had learned about management and had worked a lot on development and it had become my passion. In the meantime, I completed a master’s degree in education. This period of my life was very demanding and there was no time for leisure. This experience was successful and gave me the confidence to go ahead for a big change.

   I left this hospital where I had worked for eighteen years and began working in the universe of human resources. I loved working for the growth of individuals. Years passed, I worked in small and large health establishments, such as CH, CHSLD, CLSC, CHP. I often had heavy caseloads and my work included various challenges. I was always fulfilled working for the advancement of individuals and organisations.

  In order to help me more, I studied in creativity. This certificate taught me many ways of seeing things and creative methods in teaching or solving problems. At the same moment, for four years, I was president of a Human Resources Group representing six regions of Quebec. This work group’s  mission was to talk to members of organisations with the same objectives of human resources and individual development were present. We offered our services to members including resourcing and networking. It has been a very rich experience in my career!

  Studying was never easy, but I’m a determined woman. I realised that my studies allowed me the  best opportunities in the  work field. When I retired, I created my company in human resources development. I had mandates in organizational development. It was a different challenge than  being an employee. I learned a lot in administration and accounting. These last years were rewarding!

  Then the time for retirement came along. I had to help my mother who suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. I took care of her during four years. And again creativity helped me to keep myself balanced. I started painting and drawing once more. And I won two prizes at exhibitions and I sold three of my works. It’s a great activity!

I am so proud of my work throughout the years! 

As your ESL teacher, Irène, I want to acknowledge the HUGE and I mean huge progress you have made at this your third session. I can see that you have a great work discipline and your years of studying is still on going!! I am sure you will get to where you wish to be !  SUZANNE