ARE YOU READY FOR A JOKE?

Thanks Diane D. for this!

You always send me these really good jokes

when I really need a good laugh!

 

As an English teacher you have often heard me say

how important it is to pronounce clearly and

to try to remember that the stressed sounds are different

from the French ones which are spoken by syllables!

Here is a good example of mis-pronunciation

 or  is it mis-hearing!

So if someone laughs the next time you speak English

maybe you will have unwillingly made a joke!! !!

ENJOY!

 

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and

pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

 

HI! there

We are back to winter today!!? What a cold day after

all that warn sushine we have had for the past two weeks.

Well,  as we say in English or as the proverb goes,

" All good things must come to an end"!

 

But right now on this blog, the good things

are still happening in the form of great texts and stories

that you wrote during the winter session.

 

So here is another one!

It is quite amusing if you look at the context.

I was written by Marielle Jobin and

it is a great little story (anecdote) that she tells

about what happened to her

 on a 'business' trip tp Morocco a few years ago...

 

MY FAVOURITE ACTIVITY and also a PASSION.

by Marielle Jobin

One day, if I ever win the lottery,

I would like to go on a long, long trip!

I like travelling and the preparation is just as good. I consult the Internet, travel books and magazines; I read all that I can get my hands on. Over the years, I have visited many European countries; China, Vietnam and Thailand in Asia; Peru, Costa Rica and Cuba in the Americas; and Morocco in Africa. I also like adventure, surprises and unusual situations.

Let me tell you a story that happened while in Morocco. Some years ago, I was invited by the O.B.I. to give a three-day workshop in Casablanca. After the classes were over, a gym teacher, Mr. Belkoubbi invited me to visit Marrakesh and its ‘souk’. He would be my guide for the tour.

That day we had been walking for a while in the narrow streets of the market when I noticed a man in his fifties, dressed in an old worn-out jhellabah. He was looking at me with a bizarre smile on his face. We then visited the leather shops; there he was again standing on a porch step. We went on to a carpet store and he was parked near the door, still smiling… I had never been observed in that way before by a man… It was weird!

 Why was this happening? Was it my gray hair? Or the way I was dressed? My God! What was I thinking to have dressed in jeans and a T-shirt when almost all the women were wearing jhellabahs and scarves? I took Mr. Belkoubbi aside and said:

-” Did you see that man wearing a brown jhellabah? He has been following us for a while.”

My guide decided to go after the man to ask him what it was exactly that he wanted. I couldn’t hear what they were saying but they were speaking very loudly in Arabic and were gesturing a lot. I then realized and couldn’t believe that I was standing there in the middle of the place, surrounded by curious observers. I was sweating like I had never done before. At that moment, I just wanted to disappear! 

After a few minutes, my guide came back and he was laughing and laughing.

- “This man thought that you were my wife. He said that he wanted to exchange you for two camels.”

I grinned and just for fun added:

-” I’m insulted! Really! Two camels … that’s not enough.”

-“Don’t worry, Marielle, in Morocco that is a good price and

  It’s better than being traded for two goats!”

Well, thinking back, it was rather comical!

 

If you haven’t seen Marrakesh and its souk you are missing something. They sell everything in the market and the shops: leather, jewellery, silk, babouches, silver, spices, snakes and … even maybe their wives! To add, here’s some good advice: have a Moroccan guide with you; it will be safer and not any less AMAZING!!!

 

The PURRRRRRFECT STUDENT

This story first published on December 5, 2010
was written by Carole Lemonde.

 She was the first student I published.
We had had a little writing contest and she was the winner.
The prize … you guessed it: her text to be published here!!
So here it is again by POPULAR REQUEST !!!
I haven’t brought back a post from the past very often
but this one fits right in the context of publishing your work!
And it is such a cute and heartwarming story.
I am very glad to share Carole’s text!

The PURRRRRRFECT STUDENT

A SPECIAL STUDENT

SOCRATE

Many years ago, I remember it was on a Sunday morning, I was just relaxing in my bed, not really ready to get up. I realized that my daughter Stéphanie who was three years old then, had already come down from her bedroom into the living room. She was speaking to somebody! Who could it be, I wondered. For my husband was beside me and she was an only child. So I was a little surprised to hear her speak and questioned the identity of the other person that I couldn’t hear.

So I jumped out of bed and went to find the answer. There she was sitting on the floor, holding some cards with a picture on one side and the corresponding word on the other side. Her cat, Socrate*, who was one and a half years younger than her, was sitting quietly in front of her. She was trying to teach him some vocabulary by repeating two or three times every word. It was so cute to see them that I observed a little while before joining in.

 Finally, I don’t know exactly how many words Socrate learnt that day but I still remember the special relationship they had for many, many years. Socrate passed away when he reached the ripe old age of 18.

* Socrate is Socrates /tiz/ in English!

Thank you, Carole

for this touching litttle story

about a faithful and 'educated' companion.