HELLOOOOOO ... there!
Here is one of the
first excellent stories:
HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!
TEACHER'S comments:
you knocked my socks off!
I have just finished editing your original draft.
This 'holiday' is a great opportunity
to use for creating, telling or writing stories.
Now for a nice change, I proposed to
the intermediate and advanced groups
to try some 'creative writing'
What a great idea I had!!!
The outcome is outstanding!
Last year, at midnight on Halloween, some teenagers
decided to squat in an abandoned school.
While they were telling scary stories about mummies,
they heard a very loud noise and it had come from the roof. They challenged
each other to see which one would be the one to go upstairs. Fred decided he
would be the hero! While he was climbing the stairs, unfortunately, a step
broke.
“AAAAAHHH!” he moaned in pain.
Fred had fallen down and was now crying out for help. The
others rushed to his side and realized that Fred had broken his leg. They
called someone to rescue him.
Sidetracked
by this incident, they would have never known what the noise was. A few minutes
later after they had left the building, a
huge owl spread its wings and flew across the orange mooooooon…
Céline, Lise and Odette
TEACHER'S comments:
you knocked my socks off!
I have just finished editing your original draft.
The
story is excellent and flows,
keeps
you in suspense and has creative qualities.
The verb
tenses are all there and well used!!
I (as a
teacher) just added a few expressions
for vocabulary
learning purposes.
I also
applied a few sentence structure rules
and corrected word order.
The next
step is to publish it on my blog,
(which I
have just done)
to let
your classmates have a look!
I hope
you like the edited version.
I
enjoyed listening to it the first time.
NOW you
can read it once again
at our next class.
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