TIME for HUMORISTIC COMPREHENSION!!

HUMOUR!  

It’s time for some humour! Here is a text I received from a student. THANKS! Manon D. I liked it enough to post it here and have more of you read it! It’s titled Life’s Demerit* System *a mark/point given for choices … and it is indented to enlighten us about a female’s point system!! And of course, made into a joke about men’s behaviour. SORRY! Guys …just need to refresh you on the point system and ladies to test your sense of humour!

All married men will attest to some real wisdom In the world of romance, one single rule applies:  MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY! Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects.  Sorry, that's the way the game is played.  Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system: SIMPLE DUTIES  You make the bed. (+1)  You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10)  You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3)  You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)  But return with a six-pack of beer. (-5)  PROTECTIVE DUTIES  You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)  You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)  You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)  You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10) It's her pet Schnauzer. (-20)  SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS  You stay by her side for the entire party. (+1)  You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2) Named Tina (-10) Tina is a dancer. (-10) and Tina has breast implants. (-40)  HER BIRTHDAY  You take her out to dinner. (+2)  You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)  Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2) And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3) , AND, your face is painted the colors of your favourite team. (-10)  A NIGHT OUT  You take her to a movie she likes. (+5)  You take her to a movie you hate. (+10)  You take her to a movie you like. (-2)  It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3)  You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)  YOUR PHYSIQUE  You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)  but you exercise to get rid of it. (+10)  You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)  You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-80)  THE FATAL QUESTION  She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)  (Of course you lose points no matter what you say!)  You hesitate in responding. (-10)  You reply, "Where?" (-35)  You give any other response. (-20)  COMMUNICATION  When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (+2)  You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)  for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)  She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)  That's all, Folks!!!